Nip/Tuck, originally aired in 2003, is a drama set in Florida, about two plastic surgeons on a mission to prove to the world one thing; that they have very tight asses, literally.

Upon hearing about its release on the FX network, I immediately wanted to follow this show, but was unable to due to my lack of dedication. 3 years later, however, I managed to pick up on it after downloading the seasons off of the internet. This show is fantastic. Everything about it is awesome. It’s got softcore porn, cursing, and it isn’t based on a bunch of goody goody bullshit. Well, sometimes it is. But it does it in a ‘real world’ type setting where not everyone says shoot when they meant to say SHIT. and fool when they meant to say fuckface.

I encourage every single one of you dumb motherfuckers to either buy or download the first three seasons and watch it. 4th season starts this September.

This article will explain the many ways for you to enrich your life by becoming ghetto fabulous.

The term, which derived in the lovely city of Los Angeles, is essential to money greedy people such as myself.

Fundamentals:

-when you find yourself low on money and/or toilet or bathroom accessories, follow these steps:

Requirements: At least pocket change, $5 or less would be sufficient

1. walk into any establishment, preferably Subway, as they are maintained by Mexicans and most of them won’t care what you are doing. Ask nicely for a cup of water (you may even be so nice as to buy a cookie), after which you “accidentally” spill it onto yourself. You ask for a bunch of napkins to clean yourself off but then storm out of the place giggling as you have just pocketed a few weeks worth of toilet paper.

2. walk into a place that uses plastic utensils such as knives, forks, or sporks (the combination of a fork and a spoon used in middle/high schools) and pretend to be doing something that would require a lot of them. Like building a house made out of plastic utensils. Congratulate yourself as you dump them into your Jansport backpack and walk out of the place undetected.

3. walk into mcdonalds and order a small fry to go. grab as many ketchup packets as possible and put them into your bag. congrats, you’ve just got yourself a sauce that everyone enjoys, for free.

4. go to a public restroom inside a fairly decent place. Bed, Bath, and Beyond works for most people. To do this, you will need to have an empty container and a lid. go into the bathroom and start pumping as much soap out of the dispenser as you can in a short period of time before someone else walks in and wonders what you could possibly want with a quart of hand soap. good job ace, you’re now stocked full of “body wash” for the next few months.

5. chinese food restaurants are good for this type of stunt. you can gather a bunch of bowls, commonly referred to as to-go boxes, and use them for your home endeavors.

More to come. but for now you’ve just saved yourself a approximately $41.36 on items you’d normally buy at a store for your first apartment.