People that think they’re the shit because..

This stems off of people that brag a lot about their crap.

When you brag, you obviously think you’re the shit. You can spot these people from a distance by noticing a few things about people that think they’re the shit.

People think they’re the shit because…
-they have a myspace. Wow faggot, you’re among the 45 million other trendy people out there. no you’re not the shit.
-they have a new car. Great, now you have car payments and insurance. i’m better off than you were now, asshole.
-their myspace pages are all crowded and the font is so small you have to squint to see it. Awesome page moron, you’ve successfully made your page nonreadable.
-they can make your mouse pointer turn into a rainbow or a teddy bear when you go to their website. Cool, you just showed me how much of a loser you are by trying to make MY mouse turn into a bear. Your website sucks.
-when you hover over someone’s picture, it becomes black and white, pixelated, upside down, distorted, negative, or any sort of dumb shit like that. Yay, do you want a fucking brownie for making me think I had a virus when hovering over your picture? Go to school nerd.
-they have a new cell phone. I don’t think i’m the shit, i just like to share m gadgets with people. I don’t go around boasting about it. Your cell phone does not make you cool. having mp3s and pornography on it makes you cool.

One time I came across someone in an elevator who wanted to show off his phone so bad, he pretended that he had an important call, so he whipped his piece of shit out of his pocket, put it to his ear, and spread his fingers evenly out so that I could see “Samsung” and a little screen that is on the outside. Now this guy is thinking “heh he just got a look at my tight phone” but i’m really thinking… “fuck that guy has big sausage fingers.” Pretending that you’re on the phone is pathetic and worthless. I don’t give a shit what kind of phone you have.

-they got some ringtones they paid $1.99 each for, so they feel the need to whip their phone out in public, proceed to play their shitty sounding ringtones on the loudest volume, as to make you think “oh my god, no one on earth can make their phone play music like that. I must ask this douchebag for advice on how to make my inferior phone do that.” No, dipshit, that just makes me want to drop kick you then Jackie Chan kick your phone out of your hand.
-they have a new phone so they take every opportunity to take it out of their pocket, even will go so far as to pretend like they have popularity and receive a bunch of text messages so that every 2.3 minutes, they’re pulling their phone out of their pocket, flipping it open, then flipping it closed again. Dude we already know you’re not popular. No one cares about you or your phone.
-they have a myspace page so cluttered, it can freeze Bill Gates computer with all their useless bullshit. Just becuase you have links to episodes of The OC and your page has a retarded looking background of Justin Timberlake and a bunch of useless surveys so that people can find out about your life does not make you cool.
-they have access to drugs so they brag about taking or being able to get them. You know a loser, how does that make you cool?
-they brag about their sex life. Great, you’re having sex with white trash, or a thug. You’ve got herpes now. Brag about that, asshole.
-they’ve got tickets to a concert that are hard to get. They camp outside for days just to get seats out in the lawn while more fortunate people get to sit in seats. Nice concert, enjoy the ants.

You people that think you’re the shit make me sick.

Edit: Christine has threatened my life to give her props, because I was indeed on the phone with her and after phonesex last night and she started talking about how she was the shit because… which in turn riled me up thereby making me writing this article. So props goes out to her!