Everything’s good!

The other day I was at a restaurant getting some cheap food and a few things on the menu looked tasty to me. The waiter comes over, and the first thing I notice right off the bat is how much he resembles Screech from Saved by the Bell. Beside the point, as i’m trying to hold my laughter in, I manage to swallow it long enough to ask him “hey what do you recommend, _____ or _____??” We’re both adults, in our 20s, awesome as shit, well at least one of us is. This douche bag proceeds to hit me with the comment you just dont hit anyone with unless they’re fucking stupid. He goes “well everything’s good!” Come on broe, not everything is GOOD. Some things on this menu may even taste like shit, but that isn’t even the point. I asked a very simple question about what you recommend. Don’t treat me like i’m an idiot. I sit there staring at him like “huh??” so then I again ask, “okay but out of these two which one would you recommend?” he fires back at me again “well they’re both pretty good” I was going to throw my glass of water at him, but instead I said “are you just programmed to say that because if you gave your opinion it could be interpreted as you saying something on your menu isn’t all that good?” at this point he has a blank look on his face like “yeahhh”

Needless to say the only tip he got from me that day was a half melted reeses peanut butter cup and whatever miscellaneous shit I had in my pockets at the time.

I can’t stand the restaurant industry.